I've found Christmas dinner.....
x
http://blog.fatfreevegan.com/2010/11/thanksgiving-meatless-loaf
Thursday, 17 November 2011
Tuesday, 27 September 2011
where I need to be is exactly where I am
Eight months since the relapse started. Feeling fairly ok...
I've been enjoying sleeping lots over the summer break (I'm a note-taker at university, so have very long summer holidays (unpaid, unfortunately!)...I think that's a good thing. Plenty of downtime for me to set to healing myself. I'm getting snatched moments of nearly-normal, just here and there...every now and then, for about five minutes at a time, my legs feel almost normal. It's a lovely thing! My big toes are still fuzzy throughout, and little patches on my legs remain fuzzy too, but it's an encouraging development. The MS nurses said it was likely to plateau at some stage and then very slowly heal for the last bit. They also said I shouldn't give up on getting back to normal for up to 12-18 months after the relapse...so I'm feeling really encouraged. It's also been quite a while since I became a Jelinek Swanker! Maybe, possibly, some of the many positive changes that I've embarked on are beginning to help a little...
My energy levels are still pretty crap, but I'm coping ok..trying to remain well hydrated, as this helps fatigue levels apparently....
I am learning so much about the desecrated temple that is my body! I've never taken so much interest in human bodies before (well not the insides anyway!) It's all good stuff though, and although I still get bluesy mood swings sometimes (possibly a symptom of the MS, or perhaps its just being a mardy cow!) I'm feeling like I'm winning.....not being cocky about it, I know I've got a long and tricky stretch ahead, but at least now I feel like I have a toolkit and a roadmap to get me where I need to be (which, cryptically, is exactly where I am!)
I had my vitamin D levels tested at the GP (who looked a little bemused and said he wasn't sure I'd get it on the NHS). When I got the results back, it showed my levels to be at 55mg/l. This is only just within normal range, and very much lower than the level recommended by the recovery program I'm following (Jelinek), and this is not even a base level, as I'd already started on high dose vitamin D....so probably was deficient, especially as it's summer now, and although not a scorcher, I have been consciously getting as much sun as possible, on top of the vitamin D supplements.
Starting back at work soon, possibly by the end of the week (not sure of my timetable yet). I'm going to go for the maximum number of hours I can get this term. I think I'll be ok for working now. I'll be quite glad to get some structure back in my week to be honest. I think I've slept enough now...need to invigorate myself with work and exercise...
x
Monday, 29 August 2011
bring me sunshine...
In a much better place than my previous post! Not finished my kitchen yet...stopped beating myself up about it and got out and partied more! It was my birthday at the weekend, and was playing a gig at a wedding/festi style party on Saturday..had a great night and a lot of dancing (I found a hay bale to recline on whilst dancing to save my poor tired legs!). My birthday week had started with a gig at a friends party/ barbeque followed by a sunny outdoor jacuzzi with friends the next morning. I have to say now, outdoor jacuzzis in the sunshine should be a prescribed therapy for people with ms! it was pure bliss! I could have stayed in there until I dissolved clean away!
I also had a meal at the sushi bar with a group of friends...splendid stuff! loads I could eat - even my vegan friends seemed to be heartily catered for. I bit the bullet and tried some raw fish sushi - it was really nice. I'll be more adventurous next time...in fact me and my son have decided to take up the challenge of trying everything on the menu (within restrictions of my diet!)..these includes things with tentacles! eek! Every time we visit the sushi bar, we'll share the next thing on our menu tick-list (to avoid trying to woose out of the scarier ones!)
So basically I took my own advice and got out and got a life! I guess I needed a few weeks of cloistering just to get to grips with my life-changing programme that I'm embarking upon.
I think at this point I should just recap briefly what my programme is, as it's the most positive thing I've come across since diagnosis, and I am launching myself wholeheartedly into it..
these are the changes I've so far achieved...
diet:
* no red meat or dairy (including goat's milk etc)
* occasional bit of skinless chicken breast as a treat
* virtually no saturated fats, including coconut, palm oil and egg yolk
* only extra-virgin olive oil for cooking
supplements: 20 x 1000mg fish oil capsules, just over 5000IU vitamin D3 (13 capsules), and 1 capsule of Glucosamine capsule (can't remember the strength offhand)
exercise: I've been making a start with organised exercise - ridden my bike round the block (It's quite a big block, with hills!), gone swimming, danced, used my son's weights (little dumb bells) as well as doing the exercises given to me by the physiotherapist
meditation: I'm starting to get the hang of it, but not doing the prescribed amount yet even when I remember to do it
sun exposure - I'm supposed to have 1/2 hour full sun exposure on bare skin each day...I live in Wales! fat chance, so I'm overdosing on vit D as a replacement (avoiding the capsules that have added calcium)
....all I need to do now is throw myself into making these things a routine. It's hard going! The diet was my first objective, then supplementation...both of these are kinda sorted now - though re-learning to cook is an ongoing voyage of discovery all on it's own!...but I'm not beating myself up about how long it's taking me to make all the changes I'm committing myself to.
So..getting healthier, feeling much happier....I think I might possibly have had a little relapse - my left thigh was really burning for a couple of days, and my legs feel quite numb-skinned (can't feel pricking of self administered pointy thing). It could just be that I've been overdoing it, mixed with it being my period - seems pretty likely, but if it is the beginning of another relapse, then hopefully it'll be a little bit easier on my body now I'm super-charging my cells with all the right fuel - for the first time in my life!...we shall see, though I'm not really expecting to see any real benefit for at least 9 months- 1 year...it's a long-haul journey!
x
I also had a meal at the sushi bar with a group of friends...splendid stuff! loads I could eat - even my vegan friends seemed to be heartily catered for. I bit the bullet and tried some raw fish sushi - it was really nice. I'll be more adventurous next time...in fact me and my son have decided to take up the challenge of trying everything on the menu (within restrictions of my diet!)..these includes things with tentacles! eek! Every time we visit the sushi bar, we'll share the next thing on our menu tick-list (to avoid trying to woose out of the scarier ones!)
So basically I took my own advice and got out and got a life! I guess I needed a few weeks of cloistering just to get to grips with my life-changing programme that I'm embarking upon.
I think at this point I should just recap briefly what my programme is, as it's the most positive thing I've come across since diagnosis, and I am launching myself wholeheartedly into it..
these are the changes I've so far achieved...
diet:
* no red meat or dairy (including goat's milk etc)
* occasional bit of skinless chicken breast as a treat
* virtually no saturated fats, including coconut, palm oil and egg yolk
* only extra-virgin olive oil for cooking
supplements: 20 x 1000mg fish oil capsules, just over 5000IU vitamin D3 (13 capsules), and 1 capsule of Glucosamine capsule (can't remember the strength offhand)
exercise: I've been making a start with organised exercise - ridden my bike round the block (It's quite a big block, with hills!), gone swimming, danced, used my son's weights (little dumb bells) as well as doing the exercises given to me by the physiotherapist
meditation: I'm starting to get the hang of it, but not doing the prescribed amount yet even when I remember to do it
sun exposure - I'm supposed to have 1/2 hour full sun exposure on bare skin each day...I live in Wales! fat chance, so I'm overdosing on vit D as a replacement (avoiding the capsules that have added calcium)
....all I need to do now is throw myself into making these things a routine. It's hard going! The diet was my first objective, then supplementation...both of these are kinda sorted now - though re-learning to cook is an ongoing voyage of discovery all on it's own!...but I'm not beating myself up about how long it's taking me to make all the changes I'm committing myself to.
So..getting healthier, feeling much happier....I think I might possibly have had a little relapse - my left thigh was really burning for a couple of days, and my legs feel quite numb-skinned (can't feel pricking of self administered pointy thing). It could just be that I've been overdoing it, mixed with it being my period - seems pretty likely, but if it is the beginning of another relapse, then hopefully it'll be a little bit easier on my body now I'm super-charging my cells with all the right fuel - for the first time in my life!...we shall see, though I'm not really expecting to see any real benefit for at least 9 months- 1 year...it's a long-haul journey!
x
Saturday, 30 July 2011
Good Food, Creeping Isolation
Still keeping up with the diet change. I have started to really crave oily fish. I think I've eaten that much fish recently that my body has adapted to recognising it as my main source of protein and triggered my fishy cravings. At the moment, my staple diet is breakfast of soya yoghurt with a piece of fruit cut into it, and around 15g milled linseeds and a few sunflower seeds. For tea, I've been having quite a lot of polenta, with dry-griddled oily fish with a fresh picked garden salad. I'm still experimenting with snacks - today I am going to cook a plum cobbler! We were given a box (about 5lbs) of damsons, and the natural response was to make crumble...d'uh! ...can't make crumble without fat!...so I did some research and have found a recipe which is both vegan and fat free...BINGO! plum cobbler! - so I carefully de-stoned nearly the lot of them whilst watching a film last night, and now have go over the most laborious part of making a plum pudding! We also experimented yesterday with homemade sushi, though my son was the only one who wanted to try the raw fish - he liked it though. We stuck with vegetables and cooked prawns! It got me thinking though, we have a sushi bar in our nearest town, and I think that sushi is pretty much based around stuff I can eat (if I avoid stuff like tempurah etc)...hmmm ...maybe I shall go there for my birthday (it's a whole month away, but you've got to allow time to plan such things!)
Cooking aside, I've had this creeping feeling of isolation recently. I think I need to do something about it before it becomes a real problem. I've found myself in a social doldrum..I think it's partly that I get fatigued so quickly that I've shied away from going places where it's mostly dancing. It seems a bit pointless going unless you want to dance cos you can't usually hold a conversation unless you want to shout, which I don't! And then there's the fact that I'd probably have to stay sober and drive home which puts me off - I still feel like I could end up stuck somewhere because my legs are too tired to drive.
I need to resolve to get out more, but to be honest, I'm just so tired, I barely get through the things I have to do. So my plan is to finish decorating my kitchen and start inviting some of the friends who seem to have drifted out of my reach to come to tea...
x
Cooking aside, I've had this creeping feeling of isolation recently. I think I need to do something about it before it becomes a real problem. I've found myself in a social doldrum..I think it's partly that I get fatigued so quickly that I've shied away from going places where it's mostly dancing. It seems a bit pointless going unless you want to dance cos you can't usually hold a conversation unless you want to shout, which I don't! And then there's the fact that I'd probably have to stay sober and drive home which puts me off - I still feel like I could end up stuck somewhere because my legs are too tired to drive.
I need to resolve to get out more, but to be honest, I'm just so tired, I barely get through the things I have to do. So my plan is to finish decorating my kitchen and start inviting some of the friends who seem to have drifted out of my reach to come to tea...
x
Thursday, 14 July 2011
no chocolate...ever
I found this website yesterday...against the advice of my MS nurse who said I should only look at the MS Society and the MS Trust websites...
http://www.overcomingmultiplesclerosis.org
from what I've seen so far, it seems to be quite well presented. I am so far impressed that they are at least trying to find scientific evidence for the things they say. It is very much based on dietary changes, which is what I'm most interested in at the moment. It just seem to make a lot of sense. The downside is it suggests even more restrictions to my diet... no coconut milk or chocolate (although I can still use cocoa in cooking so not too devastating), only egg whites are allowed, avoidance of cooked fats -so no deep fried stuff. It's all good healthy changes that everyone should consider, made all the easier with the thought that it might help reduce the occurrence/severity of relapses. Another thing I'm going to try to change is I want to start taking fish oil capsules. I haven't quite go my head round what dose to go for yet, but this website recommends quite a huge dose. They say to stick with fish oil for a time, then flax seed oil can substitute for the fish oil once your system is well greased with the right lubricant! Basically it's to do with leaky membranes and fats that stay hard at body temperature. I think I need to reread the science bit to really understand it, but it resonated as I read it yesterday. It also recommends exercise, meditation and regular sunshine.
It feels like a really positive step to take - something I can take control of and usefully DO something about...
http://www.overcomingmultiplesclerosis.org
from what I've seen so far, it seems to be quite well presented. I am so far impressed that they are at least trying to find scientific evidence for the things they say. It is very much based on dietary changes, which is what I'm most interested in at the moment. It just seem to make a lot of sense. The downside is it suggests even more restrictions to my diet... no coconut milk or chocolate (although I can still use cocoa in cooking so not too devastating), only egg whites are allowed, avoidance of cooked fats -so no deep fried stuff. It's all good healthy changes that everyone should consider, made all the easier with the thought that it might help reduce the occurrence/severity of relapses. Another thing I'm going to try to change is I want to start taking fish oil capsules. I haven't quite go my head round what dose to go for yet, but this website recommends quite a huge dose. They say to stick with fish oil for a time, then flax seed oil can substitute for the fish oil once your system is well greased with the right lubricant! Basically it's to do with leaky membranes and fats that stay hard at body temperature. I think I need to reread the science bit to really understand it, but it resonated as I read it yesterday. It also recommends exercise, meditation and regular sunshine.
It feels like a really positive step to take - something I can take control of and usefully DO something about...
Tuesday, 12 July 2011
who needs cheese?
well my arms feel a little better now, but my shoulders are paining me, especially my right shoulder. I don't know if it's the MS or just muscle strain from grinding all them lovely seeds with a pestle and mortar, but sometimes the pain takes my breath away. Luckily it's only twinges, and luckily it's generally only when I'm resting that it plays up. There is also a numb spot on the top of my right shoulder that I've become aware of over the last few days..only a small patch, but it does feel like nerve damage to me..can't feel any sharp sensation there. Hey ho, just thought I'd mention it here in case I want to remember when my dodgy shoulders were bad at some point in the future.
I've been feeling quite low, emotionally, recently. I think this might have something to do with my achy shoulders, and the ongoing fatigue. That really gets to me sometimes. It' so damned frustrating! I have taken it into my silly head to redecorate the kitchen now that I'm mostly better. This is a job that is long overdue and that has been shelved since my first big relapse a year ago. I have decided that what I really need to maintain my new healthy diet is a pleasant environment in which to prepare my nutritious yet savoury offerings. It actually sounds like quite a reasonable idea...on paper! Our kitchen is very old and damp and in need of professional attention. What it has is me...enthusiastic as f***, but with the physical tenacity of an 80 year old! An interesting and exhausting combination! I am taking it as easy as I can tolerate, but it is happening so slowly. It is, in one way, encouraging and empowering to be getting up and doing something really constructive that will improve my daily life, but on the other hand it serves as a constant reminder of my acquired frailty; my 80-year-old's arms shake with the effort of trying to get screws out of the walls - I had to stop that for fear that my arms would yield before the screws did!
The dietary changes are going well. I'm quite enjoying the challenge. Today we all had pizza for supper. The rest of the family had regular pizzas, and I made myself a lovely dairy free version. I overdid the anchovies and chillies a little, but with a bit of tweaking I think I could be onto a winner! Here's the toppings I used...
tomato paste
polenta slices
lots of shredded spinach, washed
garlic
anchovies
capers
olives
jalapeno peppers
fresh basil
olive oil drizzled on top
ok, it was a bit of a jumble sale of toppings, but very tasty and definitely worth repeating the experiment. I think the polenta worked really well in conjunction with the spinach as a substitute for cheese..the spinach goes all soft and moist, whereas the polenta maintains its soft firm texture - both have a mild, unassuming flavour that went really well with the more forceful flavours of anchovies, capers etc.
I also tried out the dairy free Benecol live yoghurt drink, as the shop had run out of Alpro Soya live yoghurt...I was impressed that they offered a dairy free version of the little yoghurty health fix, but it was absolutely disgusting! I think if they run out of Alpro Soya yoghurt again I would be tempted over to the Dark Side and eat cow yoghurt as a one off!
another thing that I've enjoyed making recently is good old fashioned soya cheese, a recipe passed onto me in a squat in Westcliff-on-Sea many many moons ago...
Soya cheese
dairy free margarine
soya flour
yeast extract
melt some margarine in a pan
stir in enough soya flour to make quite a thick paste
add a bit of yeast extract
mix together, put into an old washed out margarine tub, label it "soya cheese" and put in the fridge. After a while it gets a really good crumbly spreadable texture and is divine on toast, in sandwiches or wraps etc.
it's lovely, easy to knock up and keeps for a few days...
x
I've been feeling quite low, emotionally, recently. I think this might have something to do with my achy shoulders, and the ongoing fatigue. That really gets to me sometimes. It' so damned frustrating! I have taken it into my silly head to redecorate the kitchen now that I'm mostly better. This is a job that is long overdue and that has been shelved since my first big relapse a year ago. I have decided that what I really need to maintain my new healthy diet is a pleasant environment in which to prepare my nutritious yet savoury offerings. It actually sounds like quite a reasonable idea...on paper! Our kitchen is very old and damp and in need of professional attention. What it has is me...enthusiastic as f***, but with the physical tenacity of an 80 year old! An interesting and exhausting combination! I am taking it as easy as I can tolerate, but it is happening so slowly. It is, in one way, encouraging and empowering to be getting up and doing something really constructive that will improve my daily life, but on the other hand it serves as a constant reminder of my acquired frailty; my 80-year-old's arms shake with the effort of trying to get screws out of the walls - I had to stop that for fear that my arms would yield before the screws did!
The dietary changes are going well. I'm quite enjoying the challenge. Today we all had pizza for supper. The rest of the family had regular pizzas, and I made myself a lovely dairy free version. I overdid the anchovies and chillies a little, but with a bit of tweaking I think I could be onto a winner! Here's the toppings I used...
tomato paste
polenta slices
lots of shredded spinach, washed
garlic
anchovies
capers
olives
jalapeno peppers
fresh basil
olive oil drizzled on top
ok, it was a bit of a jumble sale of toppings, but very tasty and definitely worth repeating the experiment. I think the polenta worked really well in conjunction with the spinach as a substitute for cheese..the spinach goes all soft and moist, whereas the polenta maintains its soft firm texture - both have a mild, unassuming flavour that went really well with the more forceful flavours of anchovies, capers etc.
I also tried out the dairy free Benecol live yoghurt drink, as the shop had run out of Alpro Soya live yoghurt...I was impressed that they offered a dairy free version of the little yoghurty health fix, but it was absolutely disgusting! I think if they run out of Alpro Soya yoghurt again I would be tempted over to the Dark Side and eat cow yoghurt as a one off!
another thing that I've enjoyed making recently is good old fashioned soya cheese, a recipe passed onto me in a squat in Westcliff-on-Sea many many moons ago...
Soya cheese
dairy free margarine
soya flour
yeast extract
melt some margarine in a pan
stir in enough soya flour to make quite a thick paste
add a bit of yeast extract
mix together, put into an old washed out margarine tub, label it "soya cheese" and put in the fridge. After a while it gets a really good crumbly spreadable texture and is divine on toast, in sandwiches or wraps etc.
it's lovely, easy to knock up and keeps for a few days...
x
Monday, 4 July 2011
contemplating independence
well it's been a tough but productive time since my last blog. I saw the MS nurse team. They were, as anticipated, the most clued-up and approachable face of the NHS to date regarding my MS. I now have a number for their bat-phone, so can now have some advice and support when I actually need it (assuming that I will need them in the future sometime!).
Symptom-wise, I'm not feeling so brilliant. I'm not sure if it IS the MS, but my arms are killing me. To the point of wanting to just strap them down to my body so I don't even have to use the muscles to hold them in place. As I'm typing now, it's paining my biceps, which in turn is making my fingers move lazily, like the tendons are affected or something (many careless typos later!), and my right shoulder has kept me awake at night for the last couple of night with some searing throbs. I will give it a week and see if it starts to clear up before I dial up the bat-phone!
On a positive note, I've at last got around to approaching the thorny issue of diet-change. I've been trying, but not really, to change my diet to a more MS-friendly version, but something clicked inside me about a week ago, and I have finally thrown myself into it wholeheartedly and hopefully permanently.
I have to declare now, I hate diets! I have the wrong personality to adhere to such nonsense generally - if it involves will-power then count me out! But,though I say that flippantly, I am not so silly as all that, and am prepared to give it a go - it's a healthier diet than my previous one...which I would say was healthy-ish, but too much convenience stuff if I was entirely honest with myself!
So the regime I have imposed upon myself, after some research (though not yet exhaustive), is this...
Absolutely no red meat or dairy products. At the moment I'm eating stuff with eggs in sometimes, but that's subject to review. I am eating fish pretty much every day, and trying to eat green leafy stuff twice a day (plus all the usual 5-a-day malarkey). Where possible I'll have the green leafy stuff with a little olive oil dressing, as this helps absorb the green leafy nutrients apparently. I am also increasing my seed intake - linseed, hemp seeds, sunflower and sesame seeds are used as much as I can squeeze into a dish. I've been baking healthy option snacks, which are delicious and taste even better thinking it might be benefiting my body...though that's possibly the root of my poor arms. We use a pestle and mortar to grind our seeds, and we have a hand-cranked coffee grinder....hmm! I might need a more sustainable approach to grinding seeds!
So it's all good really, the garden is looking lovely, the sun is shining and life is pretty damn good. We had a hectic weekend of puppet shows and open air gigs, and by Sunday night I was absolutely shattered. I felt very smug on Saturday when the school we were puppet-showing at provided us a lunch of ham rolls and cakes and sausage rolls...I had a salad wrap with soya cheese out in the sunshine instead, washed down with hand-ground coffee and my home-made apple and cinnamon flapjacks (I will most definitely make these again - in fact, I shall dig out the recipe and post it here - even if no-one else ever reads my blog, I will at least know where to find the recipe next time I'm baking!) :)
http://www.lylesgoldensyrup.com/kitchen.php?recipe=64
(I swapped the sunflower seeds for linseeds. If I hadn't run out of sunflower seeds, I would have put them in as well!)
x
Symptom-wise, I'm not feeling so brilliant. I'm not sure if it IS the MS, but my arms are killing me. To the point of wanting to just strap them down to my body so I don't even have to use the muscles to hold them in place. As I'm typing now, it's paining my biceps, which in turn is making my fingers move lazily, like the tendons are affected or something (many careless typos later!), and my right shoulder has kept me awake at night for the last couple of night with some searing throbs. I will give it a week and see if it starts to clear up before I dial up the bat-phone!
On a positive note, I've at last got around to approaching the thorny issue of diet-change. I've been trying, but not really, to change my diet to a more MS-friendly version, but something clicked inside me about a week ago, and I have finally thrown myself into it wholeheartedly and hopefully permanently.
I have to declare now, I hate diets! I have the wrong personality to adhere to such nonsense generally - if it involves will-power then count me out! But,though I say that flippantly, I am not so silly as all that, and am prepared to give it a go - it's a healthier diet than my previous one...which I would say was healthy-ish, but too much convenience stuff if I was entirely honest with myself!
So the regime I have imposed upon myself, after some research (though not yet exhaustive), is this...
Absolutely no red meat or dairy products. At the moment I'm eating stuff with eggs in sometimes, but that's subject to review. I am eating fish pretty much every day, and trying to eat green leafy stuff twice a day (plus all the usual 5-a-day malarkey). Where possible I'll have the green leafy stuff with a little olive oil dressing, as this helps absorb the green leafy nutrients apparently. I am also increasing my seed intake - linseed, hemp seeds, sunflower and sesame seeds are used as much as I can squeeze into a dish. I've been baking healthy option snacks, which are delicious and taste even better thinking it might be benefiting my body...though that's possibly the root of my poor arms. We use a pestle and mortar to grind our seeds, and we have a hand-cranked coffee grinder....hmm! I might need a more sustainable approach to grinding seeds!
So it's all good really, the garden is looking lovely, the sun is shining and life is pretty damn good. We had a hectic weekend of puppet shows and open air gigs, and by Sunday night I was absolutely shattered. I felt very smug on Saturday when the school we were puppet-showing at provided us a lunch of ham rolls and cakes and sausage rolls...I had a salad wrap with soya cheese out in the sunshine instead, washed down with hand-ground coffee and my home-made apple and cinnamon flapjacks (I will most definitely make these again - in fact, I shall dig out the recipe and post it here - even if no-one else ever reads my blog, I will at least know where to find the recipe next time I'm baking!) :)
http://www.lylesgoldensyrup.com/kitchen.php?recipe=64
(I swapped the sunflower seeds for linseeds. If I hadn't run out of sunflower seeds, I would have put them in as well!)
x
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