Tuesday, 27 September 2011

where I need to be is exactly where I am

Eight months since the relapse started. Feeling fairly ok... I've been enjoying sleeping lots over the summer break (I'm a note-taker at university, so have very long summer holidays (unpaid, unfortunately!)...I think that's a good thing. Plenty of downtime for me to set to healing myself. I'm getting snatched moments of nearly-normal, just here and there...every now and then, for about five minutes at a time, my legs feel almost normal. It's a lovely thing! My big toes are still fuzzy throughout, and little patches on my legs remain fuzzy too, but it's an encouraging development. The MS nurses said it was likely to plateau at some stage and then very slowly heal for the last bit. They also said I shouldn't give up on getting back to normal for up to 12-18 months after the relapse...so I'm feeling really encouraged. It's also been quite a while since I became a Jelinek Swanker! Maybe, possibly, some of the many positive changes that I've embarked on are beginning to help a little... My energy levels are still pretty crap, but I'm coping ok..trying to remain well hydrated, as this helps fatigue levels apparently.... I am learning so much about the desecrated temple that is my body! I've never taken so much interest in human bodies before (well not the insides anyway!) It's all good stuff though, and although I still get bluesy mood swings sometimes (possibly a symptom of the MS, or perhaps its just being a mardy cow!) I'm feeling like I'm winning.....not being cocky about it, I know I've got a long and tricky stretch ahead, but at least now I feel like I have a toolkit and a roadmap to get me where I need to be (which, cryptically, is exactly where I am!) I had my vitamin D levels tested at the GP (who looked a little bemused and said he wasn't sure I'd get it on the NHS). When I got the results back, it showed my levels to be at 55mg/l. This is only just within normal range, and very much lower than the level recommended by the recovery program I'm following (Jelinek), and this is not even a base level, as I'd already started on high dose vitamin D....so probably was deficient, especially as it's summer now, and although not a scorcher, I have been consciously getting as much sun as possible, on top of the vitamin D supplements. Starting back at work soon, possibly by the end of the week (not sure of my timetable yet). I'm going to go for the maximum number of hours I can get this term. I think I'll be ok for working now. I'll be quite glad to get some structure back in my week to be honest. I think I've slept enough now...need to invigorate myself with work and exercise... x