Thursday, 28 November 2013

hanging in there!

well there we are then! it's been quite a while since my last post..February I think was my last entry, and it's now nearly the end of November - I've deliberately not read any previous entries - I want to have a clear snapshot of where I am in my twisted tango with my comfortable nemesis!
Physically, it's been a bit of a rough ride, what with one thing and another, mostly it's the unrelated to MS stuff that's been giving me grief. I had a very painful episode of gall bladder meltdown that landed me in hospital for the night and sore as hell for a week or so. Thats itself is a curious thing - gallstones are associated with people who are quite overweight, so less commonly with people who have had very sudden and dramatic weight loss....well...I'm now gone down 3 dress sizes since my diet changed, but that has been over the period of a couple of years, so not exactly dramatic sudden weight loss, and I now am not overweight so wouldn't expect to be bothered by such things...and here's the bit that I think is relevant to my whole dietary self-experiment.....the only source of fat \I really take in any quantity is oily fish. I supposed to take 20g a day f fish oil, which I've done as capsules initially, but later went on to eating salmon (mainly) by the shed load! I mean almost daily! guess is that for me, 20g of fish oil daily is more than my shrinking system can process, and the fats were swishing about with nothing better to do than make me some gall  a cautionary tale to anyone who is following the Jelinek thing...since my painful lesson in fishy overdosing, I've not been trying to keep up with the 20g/day regime for fear of further episodes like that (which was akin to my memory of childbirth in terms of extremity of pain - felt like I was going to push an alien out through my chest!).
Emotionally, I'm doing ok. Still have, as we all do, those blue moments. for me it's the feeling that I suddenly aged, like a perverse sleeping beauty, where I went to sleep one night and woke up the next morning 40 years older - that is a tough one, even now, so long since my relapse, for me to always accept with good grace. And I still haven't really adjusted to "my new normal" - I take on too much and burn out, I still don't get out and socialise enough cos I'm always worn out. Well, hell! it's getting to that time of year where we start thinking about resolutions and fresh starts. I think that there's going to be a few fresh starts on the horizon, all good and positive, so just focussing on getting through the gloom and chill then push on with some bright new this space :)
Physically, aside exploding internal organs, my MS has been pretty stable. I can't say it's got any better, in fact overall it's been a bit challenging at times, like leaden legs cos of bugs and things - it always goes to my legs when I'm run down. I'm still as tired as ever, but I deal with it by assuming a sloth-like habit, and mostly hibernating when it's cold cos that goes to me legs as well! ...basically your average 80 year old!
So that's about where I am  with it right now