Wednesday, 23 March 2011

mrs Lightfoot

legs almost there now. Still a bit heavy, and my feet still a bit fuzzy. Got my appointment with the neurologist tomorrow morning. I'm looking forward to getting the ball rolling with that....

that is all


Saturday, 19 March 2011

a spring in my tail...

Two months now since the beginning of the meltdown.... Legs still a bit fizzy, feet now feel like they have thick felt glued to the soles where previously it was tar!
I would say I'm 85-90% better. I went for a walk/scramble in some steep woods today, in one of the first warm springy day we've had this year. Sun's shining, sap's rising and my legs can feel it. I can't wait to get back on form...I can feel now that every day I'm just a little bit better.
I have a neurologist appointment on Thursday - first one since being diagnosed. At last! - ironic that it's just at the tail end of the relapse. But it's a good thing; it means I'll be in the loop with all the medical stuff...

Sunday, 6 March 2011

tapping and fainting

an interesting twenty four hours... a friend of mine is learning a method of doing healing through mental imagery and tapping acupressure points. I can't remember exactly what it's called, but she refers to it mostly as "tapping". I agreed to be a guinea pig, as she needs to get some case studies under her belt. We had our first session together last night. We had a brief interview style discussion to begin with, so she could get to know what really gets to me about the MS, and to focus on my fears and frustrations. Then she got me to repeat what she said whilst tapping a series of pressure points. The phrases first used were very negative, such as "these damn feet feel coated in tar", but then went on to things like "even though my feet feel like they're coated in tar, I completely love and respect myself".
There was a bit more detail than that, but that's the gist. When I first started tapping, the base of my cranium suddenly felt really warm, and as it progressed I felt quite flushed, and as we moved towards the more positive statements, I started to feel quite euphoric. There was a point during the process, where you focus on your fears, and repeating the phrase "what if this is it?" made me feel like I was going to cry! That's not unusual at this stage, apparently. I think if I had done this exercise three weeks ago I would have been howling at that point; that's why I think that I was so euphoric - I felt the emotional response rise in me, but I found myself resilient, and it said to me that I really have reached a point of resigned acceptance of my lot!
I don't think I showed much in the way of any physical benefits/changes from this first session, though I think she's planning to dig a little deeper next time (I am a tough nut to crack!).
Interestingly, and quite alarmingly,I fainted on the night I did the tapping, several hours after. I had a bit of a headache when I went for the tapping, it cleared up whilst we were doing it, but then came back later so I went to bed. I woke up in the night feeling really thirsty. I went to the loo, had a drink, then went for a wee. As I sat on the loo I could feel myself starting to have a whitey...I was nauseous, my head was spinning, I felt really disorientated, my heart was racing. It was quite scary, I hadn't been drinking or anything, and I'm not on any meds, but it felt like I was really out of it. I eventually got it together to grab a pukey bowl and head back to bed when I must have very briefly fainted. I was conscious again by the time I hit the floor 'cause I remember the loud thud and wondering why I had fallen over. I was very lucky! we have a tiny bathroom and I fell towards the sink, with only about 2ft between the sink and the door...I don't think I got one bruise to show for it though! graceful or what?!
When my husband heard the bang he came running, and was knocking at the door straight away. I hauled myself up to a sprawled sitting position and unlocked the door. Somehow he managed to squeeze into the bathroom to rescue me and get me to bed.

Now I am not ascribing this episode to anything in particular. But I have never fainted before in my life, and I have had many whiteys, for one reason and another. But it is an interesting coincidence that I had my first tapping session on that day...and the lady who led the session with me asked me to let her know of any perceived effects...hmm!

Saturday, 5 March 2011

a nervous itch

well, the experimental med-free thing seems to be going well. I can't honestly say I'm feeling a whole lot worse without, so I have no immediate plans to get back on them. The bonus plus side is that I could share a bottle of beer last night...oh the joy!
The only development in symptoms I've had since my last post is the development of an infuriating (but occasional) itch around my hip area. It occurred before I finished taking the meds, so I doubt it is withdrawal symptoms (although that can be one of the symptoms). It's an annoying one; if you try to scratch the itch it moves deeper in and becomes an internal tickle...confirms to me that it's definitely a neuro thing, rather than skin.
Yesterday I invested in my resolve to sort out a fitness programme, I bought myself a swimming costume, and today I'm going to find out what aqua-fitness courses they run in the area. I'm actually really looking forward to it, and even dreamed I was doing aerobics at the bus stop last night!


Thursday, 3 March 2011

testing times

my Baclofen tablets (anti spaz tabs) ran out just over 24 hours ago. I have a fresh supply, but I plan to take a holiday from them. So far, my legs are still attached and working. Stiffer than yesterday, but bearable so far - though I've not been further than the kitchen yet! Today is quite a testing day on my legs. I need to walk the dog before work, then I have a four hour block of lectures to sit through, and then a walk up the hill to meet no. 1 son to take him for dinner. oh and it's referendum day today, so I guess a trip to the polling station too, after work.
I asked the doctor yesterday if there had been any progress in getting to see a neurologist or an MS nurse.There hasn't been so much as an acknowledgement slip in over a month since my GP wrote and requested an appointment. He said the system was really bad, and the waiting list for a neurologist is very long. I thought six months with no contact was already quite a long time! So he wrote another's not in my nature to nag people and be a thorn in people's sides, but I've been told it's the only way to actually get noticed by the NHS...we'll see! I can't help suspecting that if I was in the affluent South, I would be on first name terms with my neurologist by now!