it has now been a full year since my current relapse began. It is also my son's 16th birthday (that's how it is so easy for me to remember the exact date my relapse started!)
I'm completely at peace with my MS now. No more dark ad scary nights wondering what will become of me. It's like this - we all get old and sick and immobile at some point in our lives. My life is no more or less predictable than it was before my MS became apparent. So I'm not going to waste time and energy any more on what might be, or indeed, what might have been...
What it has done is to force me to rethink things about myself, and to relearn certain ways of living my life (still an ongoing process). It has helped me to see the value of the "right now". I'm not sure I'm much less of a time waster yet, but I think I am better than I was. I certainly do not take for granted what mobility I have right now. I really appreciate it when my legs are co-operating, and often it's quite funny when they are not! The fact that I have not been left with any really uncomfortable symptoms is a real blessing, I know it could easily have been the case, quite randomly, that I coul have been left with nerve damage that would cause permanent pain. That, I think, would be very difficult to maintain a positive outlook with.
So I'm now looking at what symptoms I still have as likely to be permanent (though there might still be improvement over the next 6 months)...this is what I'e been told to expect.
Oh, and I had my appointment with the MS nurse a few days ago and told her I didn't intend to start on the drugs. She completely had my number! She said she didn't think I would go for it, and was completely respectful and supportive of my decision. I was really grateful for that. I know the decision I have arrived at is the right one for me. It was like a weight lifting off me when I finally committed to the decision.
Had a lovely meal this evening for aforementioned son's birthday. We went to a tapas bar, and I could eat enough from the menu not to go hungry...hooray for Mediterranean restaurants who insist on using extra virgin olive oil! :D