Saturday, 14 January 2012

just say no!

ok, I have made my decision about whether to embark upon a course of pharmaceutical drugs to modify the course of my MS. I'm off to see the MS nurse on Friday to tell her....

......and the winner is
.......I am NOT going to take them, at least not for now, and maybe not ever.

The reasons are many and various, and arriving at this decision has taken a whole lot of research, soul searching and agonising. I really considered the drug thing. I read all the pamphlets, I researched often primary sources to really make an informed decision. I even had decided to have a blood test for Tysabri (the monthly 3 hour trek for a blood infusion), and had agreed to start a course of Copaxone (the least offensive/effective in their armoury).
....But then I allowed gut instinct to change my mind. I'm not ready to start on this course of meds, but if I don't start now I will fall out of the stringent N.I.C.E criteria, and no longer be eligible for the meds on the NHS.
So my reasoning was to give the meds a go whilst I can. But I was feeling really unhappy about it, it just didn't feel right for me. Then I read a forum about the MS drugs and people's experiences, and there was good and bad stuff said about them in probably equal amounts, but seeing the pros ad cons argued out was enough for me to have an overwhelming certainty of what I wanted to do.
To be honest, although the nurses and doc were keen to reassure me it was my choice, I felt under pressure to start on these meds now, even though I didn't want to. I think that it a really negative reason for doing something I really have misgivings about.
I am prepared to accept the consequences of my decision, but hey, if it is my Wyrd to end up in a wheelchair then so shall it be whatever I do, and believe me I am doing everything I believe will actually help me cure myself - not just quieten the in doing this, I am throwing myself into dedicating my lifestyle to getting well, and staying well.

So far so good though - about 1 1/2 stone lighter than I was, and feeling really healthy (not counting the MS!). Even if I don't manage to change enough to eat myself well, it's doing me so much I have to get more on it with the's lapsed a little over the winter months, but I'm ready to go...just waiting for my tattoo to properly heal before I jump into a swimming pool (grubby little things lurk in pools dont ya know!)

so now I need to find a pic of my tattoo (mine is the smaller of the two feet!)


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